It’s time I come out – and admit that I no longer care about seeing films on the big screen at the movie theater. Horrible of me to suggest. No serious film lover could say this. Blasphemy. On and on.

Yeah, whatever.

I used to simply argue that of course, I love seeing films on the big screen like everyone else. I’d argue for anyone’s right to watch it when, where and how they want to see a film, but would always push for them to see it the “way it was meant to be seen” which was on the big screen. But I can’t anymore. The experience sucks. Staying at home and watching it is the better option.

I bring this up today because Anthony Kaufman, a critic whom I deeply respect, has a post on IndieWire about why viewers should only watch great arthouse films like Melancholia on the big screen.As he says: “Waiting to see a film in your living room is hurting that film, insulting it; it’s like saying to a good friend, “You’re not good enough to meet me for dinner; how about we just catch up on the phone, or via computer screen, instead?… Of course, there are plenty of films that should be relegated to such a space. Just not the good ones.” His is not the only article on this I’ve read lately – there’s been a spate of such articles lately, driven by (I assume) the huge shift from the importance of box office to the rise of VOD.

But here’s the problem I’m having: Film critics, film industry and almost every single person I know who is apoplectic about people watching films outside of the theater are missing a key point – that they don’t (usually) watch such films the same way that others do. Nope. They watch them in private screening rooms rented by distributors and publicists. Or they watch them at film festivals. A lucky few get to watch them on their own home/company theater screen. Many actually just watch screeners at home or in a festival/market room with banks of monitors, but that’s another story. This is not going to the movies.

Going to the movies is getting a crap, broken seat because you didn’t show up 20 minutes early. Or it is getting there 20 minutes early and watching crappy advertisements while waiting for the Regal train to start the show (why, oh why must all theaters show a train riding through popcorn on a film strip track??). It is watching an interminable amount of bad trailers for films I don’t want to see. It is sitting next to not one, but two crying babies, in the 10pm showing of Drive for chrissakes. It is watching the film projected through the wrong lens, too darkly, or the wrong aspect ratio, or with the curtains improperly adjusted. It is watching it in spite of the irritant of an usher watching me with a device to ensure I’m not pirating the film. It’s not having the heat, or the AC, properly adjusted. It’s not having my favorite adult beverage with me. It’s waiting in line for an half an hour because the theater is too fucking cheap to pay more than one kid the minimum wage to make me my popcorn (or even sell me my ticket). It’s hearing a subway train rumble through my film – in both the Angelika and MoMA. It’s sitting with my knees cramped like I’m in an airline seat while at Film Forum. It is getting to the theater and finding out that the film is playing on the smallest screen that theater has. It is all of this and so much more. The list of problems is not small.

None of these problems are encountered by those film-goers who get to watch most of their movies away from the masses in the fancy screening room or the film festival. Heck, you didn’t even have to pay for the show.

I used to put up with it, because you know, I am a cinephile and all that. But I’m a convert. I’ll sit at home and watch my films. I’ll try to catch the cinematic masterpieces at film festivals and private screenings when I can. But while I understand the argument for the big screen, I’m not necessarily sure I buy it even for the best of cinema.

I went to film school at Emory. While the professors did their best to get us film prints for most of our classes, the simple fact was that to watch the majority of film history, I had to watch it at home – off crappy VHS, Laserdisc and DVD. I watched Rules of the Game, Ikiru and Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors over twenty times each this way. It didn’t diminish my awe. Nope. I watched them again and again, and I’ve now watched each of them multiple times on the big screen. Did I love it when I got to see them on the big screen – sure, but I can’t honestly say I didn’t love them just as much before.

Most consumers today have pretty good home theater systems, and I’m willing to bet that the percentage of cinephiles, who would even care about this problem, with good set-ups is even stronger. Most of them are adults. You know, capable of making a decision as to whether or not they want/need to see something on the big screen. Trying to stop this trend is impossible and crying about it won’t stem the tide of change. Especially not when most (not all) theater owners are content to keep offering the same dismal experience over and over again. Kudos to places like Alamo, the Enzian and Night Hawk who are trying something different and make it worth my dollar – I’ll spend my money and watch a film on the big screen at their locations whenever I can. But for the most part, I’ll watch my cinema in my home, comfortable and with my cinema-conscience clear. It’s better that way.